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"Blizzaster" A blizzard of neologisms bury the U.S. East Coast

Sat, February 06, 2010
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Dover, DE. - A prolonged blizzard covered the Delaware state capital, and the mid-Atlantic states in a smothering canvass of snow Saturday, grounding planes and triggering widespread power outages as people across the region turned to skis and sleds to traverse icy roads.

The storm proved a major disruption, with trolleys and buses in the Dover area shutting down and stores closing en masse in the face of a storm destined to go down as one of the major snowfalls in the area's history.

But perhaps the greatest damage has been done to the English language. Weathermen, with really nothing to report other than, “It’s snowing”, have turned to coining terms to describe the storm. Snowmageddon, snowpocalypse, snowtastrophe, snowclysm, snowlocaust, snowlamity, and snowzaster (which would be an excellent name for a religous cult) were just some of the neologistic offerings used to assault the mother tongue this weekend. Move over Bennifer, Bragelina, and Billary!



No Lame Duck. Just Lame.

Tue, July 28, 2009
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Pointing out that she is a fighter, not a quitter, Sarah Palin quit yesterday. Stating that she must leave office to avoid being a lame duck, thus saving the people of Alaska the nonsense of numerous ethics violations hearings. Apparently, not knowing that she did not meet any of the four criteria to be a lame duck,

  1. having lost a re-election bid
  2. choosing not to seek another term at the expiration of the current term
  3. a term limit which keeps the official from running for that particular office again
  4. the abolishment of the office, which must nonetheless be served out until the end of the official's term

Ex-Governor Palin continued to use the term lame duck referring to herself. Ending her week-long farewell tour with a severe condemnation of the media, Palin exited the stage with her famous windshield wiper wave, and proceeded directly to the media tent for her post-resignation news conference.

Nation mourns Walter Cronkite as the 2nd-most trusted man in America steps up to assume the role.

Sat, July 18, 2009
Walter Cronkite, the most trusted man in America

Walter Cronkite, an iconic CBS News journalist who defined the role of anchorman for a generation of television viewers, died Friday at the age of 92, his family said.


Mr. Cronkite anchored the “CBS Evening News” from 1962 to 1981, at a time when television became the dominant medium of the United States. He figuratively held the hand of the American public during the civil-rights movement, the space race, the Vietnam war and the impeachment of Richard Nixon. During his tenure, network newscasts were expanded to 30 minutes from 15.

Nuclear Family Times Editor & 2nd-most trusted man in America


In a related story, Nuclear Family Times editor, Michael Maciarello, long reputed to be the second-most trusted man in America, steps into the superlative role. In a news conference at Nuclear Family Times International Offices, Mr. Maciarello stated, “As a fellow journalist, I always looked up to Cronkite. He set the standard for all of us. I would have loved to have Cronkite as news editor for this medium we call the internet.”

As to the ascension to the role of most trusted man in America, Mr Maciarello stated,”I make no claim to the most trusted role, it is being thrust upon me. I would have been most trusted if it weren’t for that fish I caught in 1968, I swear it was larger than it appeared. At any rate, trust is a relative thing. And it is the most trusted MAN in America, afterall. That means that I’m like the 150 millionth most trusted person in America.”